Indian tradition- The eldest son remains with his parents, even beyond marriage.
Vikas is the eldest, and only, son. His family is pretty traditional so when we get married we will live with his parents. How do I feel about that, you wonder? I accept it and am willing to live Indian style, so to speak. I can only hope for the best in that situation. I would NOT live with my parents for the rest of my life and they certainly do NOT want to live with me for the rest of their lives, but then again we are not very family oriented. We are more of individualists. You know that motto that says "It takes a village to raise a child"? My family is "Ill do what I want, how I want, when I want and I don't really care what you say". I'm happy to be accepted into a family that still has this village mentality, where life is a combined effort and there is no need for nursing homes or daycare (sometimes).
I am just assuming that I'm going to marry Vikas though. I have every intention of doing so although he hasn't proposed. When we do get married we will have an Indian wedding with splashes of my Christian faith. It is my decision to have an Indian wedding (I think). Vikas' mother said to have a complete Christian ceremony, but I know that's not what they want and it's not what I want either.
Pray for my family on my father's side. My grandparents house burnt down last night! Everyone made it out okay though. Thats all I know for now.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Reincarnation
While in Barnes and Noble yesterday I begun to read "The idiots guide to Hinduism" and came across the chapter of reincarnation. In the chapter was the true story of a girl who remembered her past life. When I got home I looked more into it online and saw that there are numerous stories of reincarnation that some scientists take as proof.
I'm a Christian. I don't recall hearing anything about reincarnation. As far as I know I die and go to either Heaven or Hell. Is this some sort of "read in between the lines" thing. Is this supposed to be hell? Or what?
I'm so confused. The possibility of reincarnation is a little daunting.
I'm a Christian. I don't recall hearing anything about reincarnation. As far as I know I die and go to either Heaven or Hell. Is this some sort of "read in between the lines" thing. Is this supposed to be hell? Or what?
I'm so confused. The possibility of reincarnation is a little daunting.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Differences
I used to love bacon, chicken nuggets, and steak fajitas. When with friends Id occasionally and casually drink alcohol and I generally (I sin!) follow the ten commandments.
Now I'm dating Vikas (who is in India right now for 25 days, dangit!)who has a very interesting spiritual practice in addition to Hinduism. I don't know a lot about Hinduism but from what I can tell this spiritual practice (Dera Saucha Sauda) actually takes priority over Hinduism. Vikas doesn't discredit Christianity, Judaism,Islam, and of course Hinduism, he respects all religions. (Beyond this description you'd have to ask Vikas personally for his beliefs, I get confused.)
We don't celebrate the same holidays. His family celebrates Christmas, perhaps not for the same reason I do, but they accept my reasons. They also celebrate Thanksgiving (Indian style). His family celebrate Hindu holidays...holidays I can't even pronounce but I have the gist of them. There is a holiday for brothers and sisters and there is one where you throw colored powder at eachother (or something like that) called Holi(I think).
Followers of Dera Saucha Sauda do not eat meat nor eggs. Neither do they drink alohol. I usually find myself trying to find other reasons not to meat and eggs so when people ask my reasons I wont say "Well..my boyfriend doesnt eat them so I stopped.". It does reek of a controlling significant other, which is NOT the case. I am a lacto-vegetarian (pro dairy vegetarian but not pro ovo (eggs)) by choice. I don't drink alcohol anymore by choice.
We have many differences but these have been some of the bigger ones. We aren't trying to work through them we are just trying to work with them. We both sacrifice and adjust. The more we sacrifice for each other the more we find it's a sign of strength rather than weakness or subservience. Its an interesting life.
Now I'm dating Vikas (who is in India right now for 25 days, dangit!)who has a very interesting spiritual practice in addition to Hinduism. I don't know a lot about Hinduism but from what I can tell this spiritual practice (Dera Saucha Sauda) actually takes priority over Hinduism. Vikas doesn't discredit Christianity, Judaism,Islam, and of course Hinduism, he respects all religions. (Beyond this description you'd have to ask Vikas personally for his beliefs, I get confused.)
We don't celebrate the same holidays. His family celebrates Christmas, perhaps not for the same reason I do, but they accept my reasons. They also celebrate Thanksgiving (Indian style). His family celebrate Hindu holidays...holidays I can't even pronounce but I have the gist of them. There is a holiday for brothers and sisters and there is one where you throw colored powder at eachother (or something like that) called Holi(I think).
Followers of Dera Saucha Sauda do not eat meat nor eggs. Neither do they drink alohol. I usually find myself trying to find other reasons not to meat and eggs so when people ask my reasons I wont say "Well..my boyfriend doesnt eat them so I stopped.". It does reek of a controlling significant other, which is NOT the case. I am a lacto-vegetarian (pro dairy vegetarian but not pro ovo (eggs)) by choice. I don't drink alcohol anymore by choice.
We have many differences but these have been some of the bigger ones. We aren't trying to work through them we are just trying to work with them. We both sacrifice and adjust. The more we sacrifice for each other the more we find it's a sign of strength rather than weakness or subservience. Its an interesting life.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The rest is history....
*Note* One morning around 10 my mom and I wanted Taco Bell, so I drove to get it. I went through the drive thru and admired the cute Indian guy who smiled back at me. He touched my hand when he gave me my change. Im a dork for remembering that part lol.
Over the 2008 Christmas season I worked at New York and Company. I was new to Michigan, going to school and single. There were new associates getting hired in and one of them was a girl named Neha. I havee always been interested in the culture, religions, languages...pretty much anything of India, so I of course had a lot of questions. Neha is such a sweetheart, she answered all my questions and then some.
One evening at work Neha came in (at this point I was always happy to work with Neha) and the topic of the evening was arranged marriages and the possibility of it in her life. I inquired about her brother, insisting if he was single I would happy to be arranged with him, although it was only meant as a joke. She was serious when she said "He is seeing someone but they aren't going to work out. He's cute too". I laughed it off.
The following week was my last at New York and Company, I had put my two weeks in. Neha and I exchanged numbers to keep in touch.
The following day Chester and I were going on base to get my Military ID card. When I got a text message from a 586 number. Its a MI number and I assumed it was my friend Mindy saying "Hey". Being the gangsta that I am I replied "What up homie ". I looked at the number again after I sent it and realized the last digits were not Mindy's and I quickly sent back a text "This isnt Mindy, is it?"
And thus a relationship was born! We agreed to go on a date on Monday, two days away. He was 20 minutes late (I will tell you about Indian time later) and we had a great time. We went to Applebees, I learned he is a vegetarian, he learned I loved bacon. We went to the movies and saw "Taken". We hugged at the end of the night and he danced to Indian music after I asked if he had any in the vehicle.
He was the cute Indian guy at Taco Bell.
The rest is history.<3
Over the 2008 Christmas season I worked at New York and Company. I was new to Michigan, going to school and single. There were new associates getting hired in and one of them was a girl named Neha. I havee always been interested in the culture, religions, languages...pretty much anything of India, so I of course had a lot of questions. Neha is such a sweetheart, she answered all my questions and then some.
One evening at work Neha came in (at this point I was always happy to work with Neha) and the topic of the evening was arranged marriages and the possibility of it in her life. I inquired about her brother, insisting if he was single I would happy to be arranged with him, although it was only meant as a joke. She was serious when she said "He is seeing someone but they aren't going to work out. He's cute too". I laughed it off.
The following week was my last at New York and Company, I had put my two weeks in. Neha and I exchanged numbers to keep in touch.
The following day Chester and I were going on base to get my Military ID card. When I got a text message from a 586 number. Its a MI number and I assumed it was my friend Mindy saying "Hey". Being the gangsta that I am I replied "What up homie ". I looked at the number again after I sent it and realized the last digits were not Mindy's and I quickly sent back a text "This isnt Mindy, is it?"
And thus a relationship was born! We agreed to go on a date on Monday, two days away. He was 20 minutes late (I will tell you about Indian time later) and we had a great time. We went to Applebees, I learned he is a vegetarian, he learned I loved bacon. We went to the movies and saw "Taken". We hugged at the end of the night and he danced to Indian music after I asked if he had any in the vehicle.
He was the cute Indian guy at Taco Bell.
The rest is history.<3
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
This is the begining.
Note: For those of you who don't speak punjabi, "nashpati" is the word for "pear".
I am one part of an interracial relationship. Long ago my ancestors traveled from Ireland (Ulster-region) and settled here in America. Five generations later came my grandmother, six generations later my mother and finally the seventh generation: me. We are your average middle class American family. My parents have divorced and remarried, my only sibling (a brother) is in the army and our cooking is very basic, limited to grilled cheese sandwiches, pasta from a box, and vegetables from the freezer.
V. is the second part of this interracial relationship. His family came here about 14 years ago from India, he is a first generation American. His parents do not believe in divorce (like many in the Indian culture/ Lowest divorce rate is in India!), they are hindu (more spiritual though), and his mother is amazing in the kitchen, she can make her own yogurt and her food doesn't come from a box (you know what I mean).
This is probably the most interesting part of my life. Our differences, although never a problem, is often a conversation with friends, family and sometimes strangers. As we our relationship gets deeper the questions get more and more serious. Hopefully it's blog-worthy =)
I am one part of an interracial relationship. Long ago my ancestors traveled from Ireland (Ulster-region) and settled here in America. Five generations later came my grandmother, six generations later my mother and finally the seventh generation: me. We are your average middle class American family. My parents have divorced and remarried, my only sibling (a brother) is in the army and our cooking is very basic, limited to grilled cheese sandwiches, pasta from a box, and vegetables from the freezer.
V. is the second part of this interracial relationship. His family came here about 14 years ago from India, he is a first generation American. His parents do not believe in divorce (like many in the Indian culture/ Lowest divorce rate is in India!), they are hindu (more spiritual though), and his mother is amazing in the kitchen, she can make her own yogurt and her food doesn't come from a box (you know what I mean).
This is probably the most interesting part of my life. Our differences, although never a problem, is often a conversation with friends, family and sometimes strangers. As we our relationship gets deeper the questions get more and more serious. Hopefully it's blog-worthy =)
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